[I took this online test for fun, as Miharusshi was curious as to what I’d get; here’s where you can take it. Truth is, the result, along with the fact that recently, lots of people repeatedly told me I am ‘such a tsundere’ pushed me even more to write this]
[And here are the statistics – surprise, surprise, huh?! hahaha]
Oh, I’ve been meaning to write this post since at least half a year ago! I keep having ideas and for various reasons (such as improper mood for writing or lack of time) I just stick them in a drawer inside my own head and just leave them there…to ripe most probably!
Anyway, I was once having a conversation with one of my male friends and since I usually tease people (especially him) a lot, he asked “why are you such a tsundere?? actually, why are tsundere tsundere??” This happened last year, during the second exam period and instead of revising I took the time to write an extensive answer for him. The question itself intrigued me a lot.
I never really thought about it and so it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I realised that what I’d experienced in my first year in primary school (when I was 6-7 years old) was, in fact, bullying. After that first year in hell, I decided not to put up with such behaviour anymore and I started standing up to the bullies, and even defended other children. I decided I didn’t need friends as I had books. What I mean to say by this is that I became tougher like this and through the years I kept putting on layers and layers of self-defence mechanisms and for one to get to know me to my core (speaking of cores, I miss playing ‘Portal’) it takes time and patience. However, I keep being told that I give off a very self-confident, cold and pro attitude…which is far from being the truth but apparently people see me as an extremely strong person. Which I don’t think I am. Friends who are into Japanese stuff don’t even bother with these and tell me straight away that I am “such a tsundere”.
At this point, you might wonder what this post about my past is doing on this blog. No, I did not mix up my blogs, this is meant to be here as it will help me explain why tsundere are tsundere.
One of the reasons might be that tsundere have had to deal with a harsh past (be it in their childhood or later) which eventually, instead of breaking them, ended up making them tougher.
Another reason might be that they hung out with guys mostly (like I did for a few years when I was a child), and I’ll go with the stereotype here: guys in general don’t like showing others that they’re weak – they don’t cry in front of others; they don’t show when they’re hurt; if push comes to the shove, they cry when they’re alone; they do, however, get extremely proud and hate feeling embarrassed, especially when they can’t do something properly.
It might also be that the person is a genuine loner and a nerd and is not looking for a big group of friends or being in the spotlight, but rather having a few but very close and loyal friends (am I talking about myself? Hell yeah, I couldn’t and wouldn’t speak of anybody else. That would be really inappropriate as I can only speak about my own subjective experiences). Truth be told, I have friends who still call me a nerd…
The above reasons combined with and alongside others, which don’t necessarily come to my mind right now, contribute to making a person seem cold, distant, serious, ‘an insufferable know-it-all’, strong/tough – this is what a tsundere comes across as, until you get to know that person, which can take a lot of time, effort and patience. Once you do get to know them and they actually open up to you, you notice that they are actually very warm, caring and gentle – this is what a tsundere really is.
I have found that I still have my draft of what I’d answered that male friend of mine; apparently, my first ideas are along the same lines as above, so I won’t repeat them; instead I’ll cut to the almost new stuff:
“I suppose it’s also pride. There’s this general idea that if you’re soft, you’re weak and that being weak is negative. No, I don’t agree…well, not completely anyway, with that idea. BUT I will admit I hate being thought of as weak, just like I hate being thought of as awfully strong, but between weak and strong I obviously choose strong. Anyway, before I get side-tracked, I think tsundere may take pride in knowing that others view them that way; I suppose it compensates for other things they lack (such as self-confidence sometimes, or shyness in some other situations, or getting extremely embarrassed because of trivial stuff – especially if they do so easily and it’s blatantly obvious that they’re freakin’ embarrassed).
Besides, I think they find life funnier that way. Why not play little games if you’re given the chance? Why keep it boring when you could turn it into something fun? Why play it safe when you can take risks? Besides, people like this side of theirs, so why not?
Now, I think this will be the last point I make: when they finally open up to someone, you know that that someone is special to them, you know that that someone means a lot to them. This is because tsundere have this very cold aura around them, most probably because of their past, maybe because they are indeed afraid of getting hurt (like you suggested), various other reasons can come in here. Anyway, that cold aura shows that it’s not entirely easy for them to open up to people but when they finally do, it’s like they become someone totally different and by this I mean that they show a side of theirs that they can’t afford to show to just everybody.
I’ve no idea if this makes sense, I’ve no idea if it’s true or accurate in the very slightest. It’s just my personal opinion to a question which seemed to be repeatedly banging at the edge of my mind so much so that I decided to freakin’ answer it so that I can finally focus on revising. So I think I’m rather helping myself here than answering your Q. Makes sense?”
Like I said above and many other times on this blog, these here are solely my opinions; I apologise if I said something that might have hurt anybody’s feelings or which is inaccurate for them; but this is accurate for me and this is what this blog is basically about: my opinions/thoughts/feelings regarding Japanese ‘stuff’.
I do hope that if you got this far, you enjoyed reading it! Thanks for stopping by and listening to my ‘Little People.’
Bonus for the weekend: